Two weekends ago, I walk-jog-scurried to my apartment building at 3:45am to find a disheveled damsel asking me to let her in because she had "just been attacked."
A white male wearing a white fedora with a black stripe had thrown her to the sidewalk and tried to snatch her purse.
You know times are hard when hipsters have stopped being ironic and started giving in to their baser needs. Now where can I get some pepper spray?
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