the weekend blur

so many things to do, and yet i can't seem to get started on any of them. during the week, i look forward to the weekend, but during the weekend, i can become paralyzed. to characterize the sensation as suicidal would be hyperbole that even i will resist. nevertheless, there is an unyielding strain of misery that runs like a coarse rope beside my superior vena cava, and i am most aware of it during the weekend when i finally pause. its presence has also started to grow increasingly perceptible during the week, which is a problem.

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my roommate introduced me to Flipping Out, a house-flipping show on Bravo that features an insufferable boss not unlike her own. apparently, she and i have similar bosses.

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watching TV is supposed to be an activity of recreation, leisure, and escape, but when i watch this show, the pit in my stomach that i carry around all day at work quickly returns.

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both my sister and i have been interested in flipping houses for some time, and i see it as a money-making endeavor that is an ideal fit for my sensibilities (unlike my current line of work).

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the silver lining that i'm trying to draw around this dark stormy cloud is that based on this television show, it would seem that working in any field can be as stressful and unpleasant as my job is when you have an outrageous boss. so i guess it might not be my industry that's the problem, but rather my job. this gives me hope.

buy buy work

i'm miserable at my workplace and i hate working, so why should i litter my to-buy list with work-related objects?

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corollary:

darf min gehn in kolledj??

Scratch that, all on the floor

Loyal readers,

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It is with great sadness that I report that I am 86ing my reverse sleep idea (i.e., making the working hours the last hours of my day), as apparently following anything but the suffocatingly rigid awake-in-the-morning-sleep-at-night routine is a carcinogen. Ever the health nut and hypochondriac, I'm extrapolating from the recent alarmist CNN article, "Overnight shift to be classified as 'probable' cancer cause." Notably, it states:

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"[S]cientists suspect that overnight work is dangerous because it disrupts the circadian rhythm, the body's biological clock. The hormone melatonin, which can suppress tumor development, is normally produced at night."

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Oy vey! Another hair-brained scheme bites the dust.

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Yours,

Me

to buy, edited

• computer speakers
• crock pot
• curtain rod
• thin belts
• dress shirts
• dresses
• jackets
• nasty bag for work
• gloves
• plastic portable filing system
• usb cable

Plans

• finally grow out Li'l Puff's hair
• New Year's Resolution
• more metallurgy
• travel
• no adding to "to buy" list

To Do (Long-Run)

There are some things I keep thinking about doing that I cannot forget about. To help me remember to look into them, I'm recording them here.

1. relocating to that beachy area of Thailand that it was said I would enjoy (I think b/c language issues + __?? + low cost of living) - but med care, etc. (Mark)
2. relocating to India (e.g., Banjara Hills) - but how sustain self, not lose mind, etc.?
3. living full-time in an RV - ask Ruthie about boatlife b/c is very similar (small space, community); sewage situation; storage
4. horse as primary means of transport ($200/month to maintain or was it $2k/yr?) (Dead Broke horse farm)
5. commune - but what members + cult problems
6. house of extended family/ies (Tom Cruise allegedly, ancient times)
7. move to Hudson, NY
8. Gozo, Malta