Work

Today at work was a sitcom episode starring yours truly.

1. wake up late


2. run around trying to find something to wear, iron something new, it doesn't fit right, so i chuck it and opt for a haphazard ensemble


3. get to work 20 minutes late. i thus far have no set time of arrival, though i've been getting there by 9:05am. it usually would not matter when i arrive because only the secretary gets there before 10.


4. as i walk in, gentle awesome secretary breathes a sigh of relief, tells me she just left me a cell phone message because scary boss called before 9am (unprecedented!) looking for me (unprecedented!) to do some urgent things, putting secretary in a panic trying to take care of it since i wasn't there and boss will throw a fit if it's not done


5. boss breezes through an hour later, leaves, then immediately returns, politely yelling down the hall asking me (again, unprecedented!) if i can take the paper in her hand to secretary. i move to get up from my desk and magically fall while yelping, arms thrown up in the air, due to an unexpected open drawer in my pathway. boss disappears (who needs this degree of incompetence, right?). in severe pain, i regain control of my body and limp after her. 3rd degree brusing down my entire right leg. 12 hours later it still hurts to walk, move, and sometimes simply to be.


6. 15 minutes to quittin' time, i ask my superior for guidance on something. superior immediately freaks out and calls the boss who is in another part of the building: "is [this] what you were looking for?" ("yes.") "no, [yours truly] hasn't done it; no, i don't understand either why [yours truly] didn't know to do it earlier; yes, [yours truly] will get it done."


7. get schooled (politely . . . and finally) [upshot: superior takes the blame (and 80% rightly so) when the boss comes back into the office]


8. stay at work until 8pm.

Goodnight.

you're lucky i'm not putting up a picture of an electrocuted cat